Thursday, November 13, 2008
I got an award! Sort of.
Yesterday while I work I was given an award by a six year old. An award you say? How exciting!!! Well I was excited too when Joey (the six year old grandson of the woman I work with) announced in front of my desk that he was handing out an award to a winner.
That got my attention real fast. I got all excited to finally be recognized for something, anything, didn't care what it was for, just wanted an award. Something to justify my existence. I had visions of a gold statue with my name engraved on it. I was already thinking about my acceptance speech, when I said to him, "You are giving me an award?" He then looked at me & said "No, I'm giving my Grandma the award as she is a winner" and then he proceeded to walk over to his grandma's desk & hand her a piece of paper (the award) with his 6 year old gibberish written on it. I was crushed, my hopes had been dashed, my heart sank. Never mind that I wasn't going to be able to give my acceptance speech, I wasn't getting an award.
Then Lynne (Joey's grandma) says to him, "don't you think that Kim deserves an award too?". Joey said "Alright, I'll give her an award". He then came over to me & handed me the wrapping from a band aid & said "Here is your award". I got all excited again & said "I get a winner award too?" and then he said as only a six year old can say, "No, it's a loser award, you get a loser award". LOSER AWARD???? L-O-S-E-R. It felt like someone put there thumb & index finger in a "L" shape & put it up to their forehead to say, LOSER!!! Who in their right mind wants a loser award? What kind of acceptance speech can I give now? I'm not a loser, but a "loser" award was what I got.
A few minutes later (after Joey's grandma chastised him for giving me the loser award), he comes up & tells me he has another award for me. I said, "so I get a best person in the whole wide world award?". Joey looked at me intently & then grabbed the 2nd award out of my hand & went over to Brandon & said "Brandon, here is your award". So Brandon got the "best person in the whole wide world" award & not me. Stab me in the heart, why don't you.
Then Joey's ten year old sister Kelly brought me a piece of paper that she had typed up with the words "WINNER AWARD" with my name on it. I stuck my tongue out at Joey & said "See someone thinks I'm a winner, nananananana!!!!" This got Joey mad, he comes over to me & says that he wants the award Kelly had just given me. He didn't think I deserved a winner award so he was miffed that his sister had given me one. He tried to grab the award from me. I wouldn't let him have it. I finally had to sit on it to protect it. This got Joey madder.
When Joey realized that he wasn't getting the winner award back from me, he proceeded to tell me that it wasn't a winner award, but a wiener award. A wiener award? This kid obviously doesn't like me.
So there you have it, I was given an award, but it was not the award I had dreamed about receiving. I guess it was the award that Joey thought I deserved as he thought I was a sore loser when he gave his grandma the original award. It was pretty funny though seeing how upset Joey got when his sister gave me the winner award to make me feel better. You can't make kids fake what they don't feel. Maybe I should have tried bribing him? Maybe next time.